The Hannahlogues

So what does a typical day following the previously outlined principles look like?

Lazy morning: I generally wake up in the 8 o’clock hour, but even naturally waking up requires a solid 15 minutes of squinting out of alternate eyes before I can see clearly. I usually laze around for 30-45 minutes doing “phone stuff,” scrolling through emails (mostly avoiding the news headlines), catching up on overnight texts, and of course attending to my daily NYT games and sending my scores to the obligatory group chats. I’m also steadily working my way through my “TBR” articles – closing the metaphorical (or literal) tabs is so satisfying.

I usually get my coffee ready the night before so all I have to do is turn on the burner (I have a little Moka pot here) and bring it back to bed. One “downside” (in quotes because.. I will survive) to the studio is its limited seating options: there is a bed or there are hard wooden (and patio) chairs – nothing in between. If I’m not ready for my butt to lose all feeling, I have to stay in bed. Although there has been a recent game changer: Natalia revealed a glorious sun lounger with custom cushions, so I now have a comfortable way to lay down outside as well. It’s truly the little things.

By 9 or 10 I’m getting around to breakfast (eggs + toast) and segue into less internet-focused activities: reading my book (averaging 2-3/week) or playing a few games of solitaire while I listen to an audiobook or music (this is a relatively new hobby I picked up in the months before I left.. I think the two handed nature of the game stopped me from picking up my phone and doom scrolling!).

Less lazy mid-day: Usually by 11 I’ll sit down to “work,” either at the desk in the apartment, or the table on the terrace (the weather is still a bit hit or miss especially in the morning, so 50% of the time I am inside with my sweatshirt and fuzzy socks and a mug of tea- see above).

The vibe of this *reset* is to do the things I want to do. Topics I’ve maybe always been interested in, but never got around to really digging into, things that I enjoy doing, but that always felt indulgent and not a good use of limited free time. Perhaps most important, these are things I never had the brain power for, after a long day or week of work. I didn’t want to stare at a computer screen any longer, I didn’t want to learn new things, my brain couldn’t generate new ideas. But what if these are the things that will help me figure out what’s next?! (There I go, thinking about monetizing my hobbies and interests).

I aim to spend 2-4 hours “doing” something:

Writing: those of you that know me know that (non-fiction) writing is my passion. I took a memoir class in NYC, was part of both structured and unstructured writing groups in Richmond and even did a weekend retreat in Virginia Beach with a group of about 10 women a couple of years ago. And of course I’ve had blogs in the past when I worked abroad. I think in an alternate life, I would have been an excellent long form journalist (I suspect long form journalism editors are much more accommodating of run on sentences, liberal use of emdashes, parentheticals, semi colons, and the Oxford comma).

But in 2023 (right after the retreat, in fact), I hit a wall. I had no spark, no itch. I’ve always written about my personal experiences and I guess I just wasn’t feeling inspired in the life I was leading at the time. I also had absolutely no space in my brain to create.

But – surprise, surprise – once I started on this roadmap to a reset, I started writing again. I started jotting things down in my notes app, I started doing a bit of journaling, I attended another session with the group I used to write with (a 12/30 spell-jar making, manifestation workshop in which my mantra was “short term structure for long term freedom.” I looked at that piece of paper every day for 4 months).

Well as they say,

The only reason I got out of the [blogging] game was to be reluctantly called back in.

– Michael Scott

Hannah Wesley

I am excited to not only have things to say again, but a captive audience who wants to hear them! Getting this blog set up (while way more time consuming than anticipated – I have never felt more geriatric millennial.. though the fact that I’m writing a blog is in and of itself a dead giveaway of my late 1900s birth year) was a really fun way to spend a few days last week. So, today’s “work” time is being spent on this post.

I am also *gasp* journaling a bit, and dedicated precious suitcase space to two of the “Story of My Life” type guided journals you can buy at Target (well, not anymore, Target!).

Astrocartography: This is the other place I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time. Astrocartography is (and Im going to quote from Helena Woods, the woman whose YouTube videos I’ve been devouring) “the astrology of place. It’s also known as locational astrology and it’s a tool used to determine how specific places in the world will feel for you energetically. Different places across the globe hold different energies for you – both preferable and unpreferable – depending on your unique natal chart and astrocartography map. Living close to a planetary line in astrocartography will activate your unique natal story of that planet.”

I think I first heard the term in a TikTok video and generated the free map you can find on astro.com for funsies (below for reference – so you can understand how wildly complicated and therefore time consuming it is to truly decipher). I found it to be an intriguing concept, but there are a lot of intriguing concepts. I don’t have time to care about all of them. However, there was one moment in my mindless clicking around that made me catch my breath and gave me full body goosebumps. I read a blurb for (what I know know is) my Uranus IC line (but I still don’t know what the significance of that is, lolz).

Here’s an excerpt from the “what you can expect on this line” blurb the website provides:

• Along this axis, the focus is on the renewal of your personal point of view. Important areas from which you have derived your sense of security and deeply held convictions are called into question.
• Quite often, there can be uncontrolled, emotional outbursts, whose origin relates to profound, psychological blocks.
• Unrest and excitement dominate your daily life. You wish to be independent, but at the same time, the circumstances of your life can be so unstable that you lack the necessary basis for your desire of freedom.
• Along this line, it is highly unlikely that you will grow any roots or decide to stay. But it is still possible to live in some alternative community or cooperative with people who share your own convictions. You will find your family more in like-minded individuals than in blood relations.

Why did that give me goosebumps to read, you ask? The line ran through BOTH Jordan and Kenya: places where I have had my convictions challenged and had some pretty profound psychological blocks, where I have not always been free to move around the way I might want (especially in Gaza), where I didn’t stay permanently, but where I became friends with people based on our shared values, some of whom are still among my closest friends.

[Checks arms for goosebumps]

Ok so, maybe there IS something to this whole energy-of-place thing... And if I'm looking towards a more permanent relocation, I might as well double check it's near a line with preferable energies, right?



However, it turns out that in order to truly understand what these lines mean (especially as it pertains to a relocation), you have to understand astrology.. which.. I do not. So, I've literally been following a random course I found online - teaching myself how to read my birth chart, learning about the planets, and the houses, and the zodiac signs. It is SO much more complicated than I ever understood, and my brain only has the capacity to absorb a couple of hours at a time. So that easily hits my daily brain quota.

I know what you’re thinking Hannah, why don’t you just pay Helena for a reading? Well, firstly, her readings are $500++, secondly she is booked 3+ months out, and thirdly, this is a really fun thing to learn, and maybe it’s something I’ll enjoy doing for myself and others in the future. Now’s the time to experiment! I’ve realized how much I miss learning new things! And not just a fun fact in an article that I can share at parties (also fun), but really learning.

Tarot: I’ve been sort of casually playing around with learning Tarot for a couple of years now, but like astrology, it’s more complicated than you might think. I know there’s a lot of eye rolling when I talk about the *woo woo* stuff I’ve gotten more into lately, but my life changed when I started leaning into my intuition and “messages from the universe,” rather than rationally explaining them away. Also, it’s my life to live how I want. Tarot is a framework through which to view the world, to assess situations, problems, opportunities, and potential paths forward. It’s not fortune telling – it’s showing you what could happen, and giving you the chance to change the story. It’s also helped guide some journaling exercises and moments of reflection. I also dedicated precious carry on space to my textbook, a couple of decks, and the flashcards I’ve been quizzing myself on for months.

[If there is interest in the specific messages from the universe I’ve been receiving via tarot and other media, I’m happy to dive in!]

Personal Admin: Lame and boring, but bills still need to be paid, money transferred out of savings (sniff) into checking, emails need to be responded to, inboxes need to be purged (I am in my unsubscribing era – both to capitalism and fundraising emails). At some point, I will also need to make arrangements for the next legs of travel, but I’m not there just yet! By month 3, this will likely also include job searching. However I will actually be attending a remote job fair next week, so I guess I’ll need to research the companies that will be in attendance and brush up my resume and LinkedIn profile (barf) in preparation for that.

Taking better photos of myself: This is a more professional way of saying that I am trying to learn the ways of influencers. I travel solo a lot, and I’ve always been self conscious about taking photos around a lot of other people (because no one want to be *that guy* hogging the good backdrop or filming a TikTok dance in the middle of the street that ends up on the Influencers in the Wild instagram page). However, I realized that traveling solo and not being super comfy asking strangers to take my photo meant that I was taking entire trips with no pictures of myself doing all of the amazing things I was taking photos of. I’m not talking about a heavily edited photo for the highlight reel of my life (aka social media), but for myself.

Does anyone else remember the final scene(ish) of Titanic, where the camera pans over Kate’s room on the ship with photos of her doing all the things that Jack made her promise to do before he let go of the door Kate so selfishly refused to share with him? She’s flying a plane, riding a horse, laughing with friends, etc.. It’s photo evidence of a life that was lived. I think about this scene a lot. When I’m 97 years old, I want to be surrounded by the photos of the life that I lived, the places I visited, the haircuts and outfits I will surely cringe at. What’s a fleeting moment of embarrassment in posing in public, if it helps me remember the richness of my experiences?

This of course also gets at all those deep seeded body issues most of us millennial women have. We are so predisposed to hating our smile, our squinty eyes, our big arms or knobby knees. I quite literally zoomed in and complained about the VEINS IN MY SHINS in a photo of me, standing in front of the bluest water, on a gorgeous sunshine-filled day, in all the glory of a life surrounded by the Adriatic Sea, taken by one of my very best friends in the whole world who I was getting to share this paradise with, walking on two very strong legs that are carrying me all over the hills and forests of this island. And I was ready to delete the photo because when I zoomed in all the way I could see veins on my shins.

As someone who was victimized by US Weekly between the years 1997 and 2007 am I eligible for financial compensation? There are enough lawyers in our generation – can someone get a class action lawsuit going?

This is also that all important “self-work” I am trying to do here as well. Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Reminding myself that no one but me thinks about me as much as I do. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own shit to truly care – for more than a passing second – what my shins look like. Or about that embarrassing thing I said that I still think about when I go to sleep at night. Or that time when I made a noise that I’m fairly certain the woman next to me thought was a fart but that was just my shoes squeaking and how I’m sure she’s told every person in her life about that gross woman who farted next to her on a train. Cue the Jack Johnson song that’s been running through my head on a loop.

But everybody thinks that everybody knows
About everybody else, nobody knows
Anything about themselves
‘Cause they’re all worried about everybody else, yeah

– Jack Johnson, Wasting Time

So that was a long digression, but the point is: I want to have more photographs of myself doing these epic things that aren’t selfies. I brought a couple little portable tripods that I purchased before my birthday trip in October – Frannie and I used the selfie stick function a few times but never went so far as to actually set up the tripod. But since I can take a 2 hour walk and maybe pass 1 or 2 people and only ever on the paved paths, I decided there was no time like the present to learn the art of solo photography. I’ve been watching countless videos on the right pose (ugh, did you know the hand on hip is SO 2010?! Also the source of my laughter in the above photo – I was trying the forearm hip rest, and failing epically), the right composition, the right camera settings and editing tips. I even briefly considered making one of those transition videos you see travel influencers posting, but.. well let’s just say I have a newfound respect for what goes into making a video look that casual.

So that’s not necessarily “computer” work, but it’s not not computer work. Plus, that’s the sort of stuff I have to do in private, and not during the next portion of my day.. my favorite part of the day!

Late afternoon walk! The family whose attic I am staying in consists of Natalia and Yoshko (sp?) – a couple in their 50s.. he’s born and raised here and is in the fire brigade on the island! and she is Austrian but her (grand)parents had a house here and she met Yoshko in the late 90s during a visit to the island. They have two children – a 17 year old son who lives at home and a 19/20 year old daughter who is at university in Austria. Natalia is a professor at the University of Dubrovnik (her current courses are on the theory of “heritage.” SO interesting), so commutes to the mainland for her classes – they also have an apartment by the ferry in town, for times when she needs to be in town more frequently, or weather precludes the ferry from running on time (I wouldn’t know anything about that).

Around 3-4 most days, Natalia calls up from her terrace – “shall we walk, Hannah?” Yes, yes we shall. I am so so grateful that Natalia is such an avid walker, because there is no way I would have learned the ins and outs of this island as quickly as I did, or if I ever would have. There is a paved path between the two villages, and a few marked trails, but the beauty is truly on “the road less traveled” (or at least less traveled by tourists who don’t know it exists!). It is deceptively small (meaning.. it looks way bigger than it actually is.. so maybe it’s deceptively large?). I’ll definitely do a longer post on the island’s paths and history.

Our walks range from 1.5-3 hours.. 3-6 miles. Some paths are heftier than others, but almost every day so far we’ve done something different. I’m sure we’ll have to start repeating paths soon – and I would actually prefer it – as whenever I’m on my own for a walk I end up getting lost, inevitably turning left at the wrong tree, or going up when I should have gone down. But it would be very difficult to get truly lost on such a small island where you just need to pick a direction and you’ll hit water soon enough.

Evenings: We tend to get back from our walk by 6/630, at which point I take a shower and make dinner. I’ve got all the equipment I need to make whatever I want, but I’ve been keeping it super simple – not in small part because the faster I eat my groceries, the sooner I need to go to town to shop!! In a fashion remarkably similar to home, by the time I finish cleaning up after dinner, dry my hair, do my skincare, it’s 8 or 8:30 and I’ll get into bed for a couple hours of reading or listening to a book and playing solitaire, or doing a (paper!) crossword. Light brain work. My neurologist sleep doctor would be so annoyed to learn that I am spending so much time in bed doing non-sleep activities.

I am still taking my roofies at night (I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomina last summer and my medication is quite literally GHB – the date rape drug) which I generally take by 10:30 or so. [If you’re doing the math from the wakeup time I mentioned up top, yes, 10 hours on average]

I know it’s a light day compared to what I used to do, and what most people reading this are doing, but I truly feel like a little kid who has been playing around all day at the beach or amusement park when I get into bed every night. My limbs are so pleasantly heavy and sore, my skin is tingly from my shower and the sun (don’t worry I’m being good about my UV shirts/hat and SPF!), my brain feels the right amount of tired, and knowing that I will wake up with the sun and the birds as my alarm clock takes away all the scaries I used to have at night, because this time I GET to do it all over again tomorrow – I don’t HAVE to.

So there you have it! A general idea of the daily flow these last few weeks. Of course there are some days where I have read all day, or take a mid-day solo walk, or do an online workout video. A couple good friends were in Croatia last week on vacation, so I saw them a few times (more to come!). I have also started to incorporate the all important European siesta into my days. Natalia asked why I was still taking my daytime stimulant.. and it’s true, my sleep disorder feels much more manageable when the pace is slower and the demands on my brain are fewer. Napping isn’t something to be ashamed of over here – it’s a point of pride!

And case in point to the flexibility of this schedule. I got a late start on “work time” today because I’m super into my current audio book (Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty) so I sat on the terrace playing Five Crowns solitaire for longer than usual. Just as I started working on this post, my parents called and we FaceTimed for an hour. So, it’s 7pm and I’m just about to hit publish after a late lunch/early dinner. A storm rolled through this afternoon, precluding this walk, so going to do some youtube yoga before I shower and hop into bed!

Happy Monday, y’all 🩷🩷